Brain cubed

People are probably familiar with the method of avocado cutting therein the vegetable is cut in half across the axis of symmetry, the pit is removed, lines are scored through the flesh but not the skin in a grid pattern, and then one half of the vegetable is inverted, so as to cause rectangular sections to fall down out of it.

This is how I would approximate the general phenomena ongoing in my brain when waking up between 6:00am and 6:30am. This may need to be the end (perhaps temporarily) of my long-running and often cherished vampiric lifestyle.

The envelopes and minutes that matter

Ottawa government buildings

Today I learned for sure that someone else got the best apartment I have seen so far. It was the people who were leaving it just as I arrived to see it. No matter, because I found a less good but entirely acceptable place on Chapel Street, near Rideau. I submitted my application and then learned that someone else had already done so. There is some chance I will get this new place, but it seems likely that the slog will continue.

Next time I am presented with a renter juggling different application envelopes, it may be wise to introduce some confusion. I know that I have trouble remembering which envelope was on top when another suddenly appears with a neat collection of large bills inside…

I suppose it is all a bit ironic. The federal bureaucracy seems pretty amiable, very professional, and more laid back than expected. The housing market is opaque, full of frustration, and tinged with the unseemly on many edges.

[Update: 18 July 2007] It has been confirmed that the previous applicant got the second apartment I applied for. Having this happen twice in as many days is very frustrating. Clearly, good apartments in Ottawa are snapped up in hours. The bad ones, by contrast, linger for weeks on the various listings. Wearily, I must continue the search.

Three flops, one decent film

Normally, I try to give films at least a couple of paragraphs of commentary after I have seen them. Times of late have been busy, so I will be briefer here.

Ocean’s 13: The nonsensical plot was easy enough to anticipate, but what made this film stand out as particularly poor was the overwhelming lack of style. The first film in the series looked fresh and interesting. This one is a tired attempt at spinning more money out from a franchise long past its prime.

Shooter: I saw this on the plane, and regret not using the time to sleep. The plot was preposterous, the acting and action scenes poor, and the physics abysmal. Take pains to avoid this film.

Firehouse Dog: This one, I half-watched without any sound. Even so, it was a markedly better film than Shooter.

Last King of Scotland: Jonathan and I watched this film in the form of a DVD of dubious legitimacy I bought in Morocco. Overall, it is quite well done. At times, quite funny, at others, suitably dire for a film about Idi Amin.

A fax is not more secure than email

The way complex organizations assess technology and security is often very silly:

A: “Here is the signed document, as a PDF file that I scanned and emailed.”

B: “No good. We need a hard copy.”

A: “Well, I can mail one to you within about a week.”

B: “That’s far too long. Why don’t you just fax it?”

A boots laptop

A opens PDF file

A clicks ‘print,’ plugs laptop into telephone, sends the fax.

Result: a lower quality version of precisely the same thing is transferred, at greater expense.

How to look like a bike thief / fool

You will need:

  1. Fairly heavy steel-framed bicycle
  2. Rear tire so badly blown out the wheel won’t turn
  3. Dark suit and tie
  4. Oxford scholar’s gown
  5. Backpack full of revision notes

To prepare, generate such a rupture in such a bicycle. Ideally, this should occur while you are en route to somewhere about 1000m away, with just enough time left to finish cycling there. Lock said bike to a fence at point X, approximately 1000m from your home.

At some later point, attend a high table dinner in your college, wearing the suit and robe. While walking home, decide that it is time to bring back your bike, despite how it cannot be rolled. Do this despite being (a) highly improperly dressed for the activity and (b) already burdened with a sack full of books and binders.

Alternate between carrying the bike over one shoulder and rolling it forwards on the front wheel, holding the seat post at shoulder level. Make sure to do this at night, in a city with the highest rate of bicycle theft in England.

Surprisingly, two police cars rolled right past me while I was in the middle of performing this awkward, uncomfortable, and suspicious voyage. They didn’t even slow down – probably because they were smart enough to realize that anyone stealing a bicycle would not move it in such a stupid way.

The question now is whether I should put in the time to buy a new tube, remove the rear wheel, replace the tube, inflate it, and re-assemble the bike this weekend, or whether I should wait until after exams. Fixing it would waste more time. Leaving it alone would make it even more foolish to have carried it home.

Whatever is decided for tomorrow, it is back to revision for me now.

Review: UCO Ultrapod Small Tripod

For the Paris trip, Hilary kindly acted as courier for this small tripod, sold by Mountain Equipment Co-Op. While it is not without some good features, it is a disappointment overall. The main reason for this is bad design.

The first mistake has to do with the rubber pads at the base of the legs. They fall off very easily: particularly the one shaped like an L-joint. They should be tighter or glued on. The second problem is with the velcro strap. It has no convenient place to go when the tripod is unfolded, except wrapped around one leg. It should be positioned more intelligently for situations where you want to fold and unfold the tripod often, or it should be made removable. I have never used it once, but I am a bit hesitant to irreversibly cut it off.

Far and away the biggest problem has to do with the knob controlling the ballhead. Even if you twist the knob with as much torque as you can possibly muster, the tripod head remains somewhat loose. If you want to keep the tripod on the side of your camera with the legs folded up along one side, the friction between the ball and the plastic socket for it is not enough to keep it there. Even more annoyingly, when you have tightened the knob as much as you can, it often becomes badly stuck. You will find yourself frequently using your teeth to loosen it. I have had to resort to pliers on several occasions.

While light and promising in its form-factor, this little tripod does not live up to its potential. I am grateful to Hilary for bringing it, but my search for a small, always-on tripod for my A510 is not over.

PS. ThinkGeek sells the same device.

M.Phil final exams

In less than a month, the members of my course will be writing our final exams. Everyone has one on history from 1900 to present and another on international relations theory. Then, each person has their two optional papers. Mine are international law and the developing world. For each exam, we will be presented with twelve questions. Of these, you need to answer three, each by means of an hour long essay. Twelve hour-long answers over the course of three days and the M.Phil is complete. Passing all four is necessary to pass the M.Phil.

On the basis of how questions are fairly consistent from year to year, the most popular strategy is to prepare on a number of `topics.` For each, you identify and seek to understand the key bits of the secondary literature. Then, you try to come up with a clever seeming argument and map out – in general terms – how you would approach the question. Several course instructors have encouraged us to use this kind of approach. According to the Notes of Guidance:

In the written examinations, answers which merely regurgitate facts or opinions will not suffice: answers must be well structured, relevant to the specific question asked on the examination paper, well written, and show mastery of the subject.

I take “mastery of the subject” to mean having read and understood the appropriate academic sources. For examples of consistency between questions year to year, have a look at some past history questions and past theory questions.

My initial plan was not to use the topic-based approach. For our qualifying test last year, my approach was simply to re-write all my notes, re-do some of the most important readings, and then write some practice tests. That has the virtue of comprehensive coverage, but it does not prepare you as well for a question that you have anticipated than the topics approach does. Working on selected topics allows for a depth of knowledge and an opportunity for organization that is likely to be advantageous for Oxford-style examinations.

The biggest challenge relating to the finals is the sheer breadth of material. For each of our 24 core seminars and 16 optional seminars, there were two or three questions for consideration. For each of those, about ten readings were listed, most of them books. Provided you read 3-5 sources per question per week, that is easily several hundred complex articles or books. Even going back over notes on nearly one hundred different discussion topics is daunting. On one level, the volume of work involved in preparing for finals is a good thing, as it demonstrates the breadth of the program. At another, it demonstrates one’s cognitive limitations quite effectively.

My biggest problem, as far as these exams are concerned, is that I have never been particularly good at remembering who espoused what theory. Given the extent to which academic international relations is a name-game in which big egos dominate and every scrap of credit is fought over, this is a considerable defect for someone considering any further involvement with the academic world. I could imagine being familiar with all the big names in one’s particular sub-field of IR, but the thought of doing so for every major branch of the field, from the history of the interwar period to the economics of foreign aid, seems quite beyond my capability.

GPS and navigation

Oxford botanic gardens

I have been annoyed recently by full-page ads in which RIM is advertising the navigational capabilities of their new BlackBerries. They suggest that people can throw away maps and compasses and wholeheartedly embrace the combination of GPS and electronic maps.

I know firsthand how useful GPS can be. As an altimeter or a way of locating yourself in a featureless landscape, it cannot be beaten. Likewise, it is very helpful for quickly figuring out where you are when you are out on the water in a canoe or kayak. All the same, I think there is a fundamental value in being able to read a map, locate yourself on it, and work out a course to where you want to be. It isn’t enough to take a course in these things and forget about it. As with any complex skill, practice is important.

Some common sense is also a necessity, no matter how you are navigating. If your GPS-based automobile navigation system tells you to drive along train tracks, you should be aware that machines are fallible, and highly stupid as well. They have no common sense by which to evaluate whether, for instance, a bridge has been washed out or whether a linear course between A and B includes a series of lethal cliffs. There is also the small matter that some dead batteries a splash of water or a dropped piece of gear could knock out both your map and compass equivalent, if you are relying on a GPS system.

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Your flash can’t light a cathedral

The scene is Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, during the middle of an evening service. You see a person standing to one side of the alter, in the transept, looking across at one of the massive rose windows. The digital camera comes up, the window is magnified as much as possible, and then there is a sudden flash that distracts every one of the hundreds of the people in the cathedral but doesn’t provide nearly enough light for a proper exposure. On the camera’s screen, a very underexposed version of the window appears.

Normally, this is the end of things. Some people go on from here to deactivate their flash and take a second photo. This one is both hopelessly grainy (because the camera has automatically chosen the highest possible ISO setting) and completely blurred (because hand-holding a 1/2 second shot of a distant magnified object inside a darkened cathedral doesn’t work).

Obviously, I am someone who appreciates the practice of photography. As such, it pains me triply to see people taking photos in a distracting way, poorly, and in a space where such touristic incursions aren’t polite or appropriate.

Moral of the story: your flash cannot illuminate Notre Dame Cathedral. It cannot illuminate the Super Bowl or the moon either. If you are photographing these things, have the kindness, intelligence, and courtesy to turn it off. Then, make sure to at least brace against a wall, to help deal with the long exposure.