Oxford – Page 33 – a sibilant intake of breath

Success and direction

Happy Birthday Tristan Laing

The incident of the design essay has reaffirmed for me the importance of doing something else, before really deciding to do a PhD. Terrifying as it is to leave the place where I’ve had the most and most consistent success – namely, the academy – it seems essential to establish by contrast whether it is worth all the time and devotion a doctorate would involve.

In many ways, I am not a good academic. I prefer the general to the specific, and I usually prefer the question to the answer. Great as the appeal of comprehensive knowledge in one or another area is, it is the vacuums of knowledge that my effort generally strives to fill. I feel more vulnerable for knowing nothing of opera than for knowing less than enough about environmental politics or security or American foreign policy.

The moment’s over-riding question is “What is this life to be?” I am nearing, if not over, the point where it stops being an automatic progression of school grades and experiences. It’s like climbing the ladder and walking the length of a high diving board, then being presented with the choices about how to jump that cannot be taken back and can only be half-corrected once you’ve bounded. Presented with such a choice, you can’t help realizing the limited scope of any single life: the limited number of directions it can be taken, very few indeed if the arc is to be a graceful or admirable one.

The matter then comes down to a conflict between aesthetics and hedonism: the one concerned with the appearance of the jump and the other concerned with the experience of jumping. Ambition indicates that we might be able to impress if we strive for the first – though we risk trading enjoyment for artistry. Frantic indecision serves the latter cause while undermining the former – asserting the value of originality over elegance.

Research design essay blasted

I just got the feedback on my research design essay, and it is enormously less positive than I had hoped. The grade is a low pass and there are two written statements included: one that is fairly short and reasonably positive, the other longer and far more scathing. It opens with “[t]his research design is not well thought out.” Both comments discuss the Stockholm Convention and Kyoto Protocol as though they are the real focus of the thesis; by contrast, they were meant to be illustrative cases through which broader questions about science and policy could be approached.

The shorter comment (both are anonymous) says that “the general idea behind the research is an interesting one” while the longer comment calls the cases “well-selected… [with] fruitful looking similarities and differences.” The big criticisms made in the longer comment are:

The nuclear disarmament and Lomborg cases are unnecessary and irrelevant.
I haven’t selected which key bits of the Kyoto negotiations to look at.
My philosophy of science bibliography is not yet developed.
Not enough sources on Kyoto or Stockholm are listed. Too many are scientific reports.

It blasts me for not yet having a sufficiently comprehensive bibliography, and for the irrelevance the commenter sees in the nuclear weapons and Lomborg examples. The whole point of those is to address the question of what roles scientists can legitimately take, and how the policy and scientific communities see the role of science within global environmental policy making. The point is definitely not, as the comment seems to assume, to compare those cases with Stockholm and Kyoto. Taken all in all, this is hands-down the most critical response to anything important I have written for quite a number of years.

To me, it seems like the major criticism is that the thesis has not been written yet. I mention being interested in the philosophy of science, insofar as it applies, but have not yet surveyed the literature to the extent that seems expected. The same goes for having not yet selected the three “instances or junctures” in the Kyoto negotiations that I am to focus on.

As is often the case when I see something I was quite confident about properly blasted, I am feeling rather anxious about the whole affair – to the point, even, of feeling physically ill. I always knew there was a lot more work to be done – a big part of why I have decided to stay in Oxford over the summer – but I expected that the general concepts behind the thesis plan were clear enough. The long comment definitely indicates that not to be the case. I can take some solace in what Dr. Hurrell has said. He has more experience with environmental issues than probably anyone else in the department and has also had the most exposure to the plotting out of my particular project. Of it, he has said: “[the] Research Design Essay represent[s] an excellent start in developing the project and narrowing down a viable set of questions to be addressed.” Still, I would be much happier if the examiners had said likewise.

The major lesson from all this is to buckle down, do the research, and prove them wrong for doubting the potential and coherence of this project. The issue is an important one, even if it is more theoretical and amorphous than many of the theses they will receive. A simple comparison of Kyoto and Stockholm would be enormously less interesting.

Canalside rolling

I discovered another nice Oxford bike trek today. Begin by reaching the Port Meadow, by any means, then cross the southern portion westwards, move north along the Oxford canal, cross it, then head north and west to The Perch. This is not the time to stop for a drink. From there, turn left (south) and follow the undivided blacktop road (Quicktime!). This runs very pleasingly along pastures and farmland. The surface is especially nice – a situation that forms a marked contrast to other parts of the ride.

At one point, I thought to myself: “I can’t believe there are sheep in the background of this Nine Inch Nails track! The things you learn when you listen with headphones.” Moments later: “Oh, wait. These Apple earbuds let in external noises, and there are about 200 sheep in that pasture right there.”

That road ends in Botley, where you should turn east. About three kilometres away, you should see the green spire of Nuffield College. Very soon, you will reach a bridge across the Isis / Thames. As soon as you cross it, head up the path on the eastern bank. Watch out for the many other people who will be using the path, particularly if you do this in the evening, as I did. This path follows the river in a way that feels much more properly woodsy than most of the canal-side paths, and it ends at the southwest corner of the Port Meadow. From there, if you are feeling adventurous, you can ride right across the Port Meadow to the bridge that ends near The Anchor pu (where a micro geocache is hidden).

One word of warning: riding across the Port Meadow can be a very bumpy business. In my case, so much so that I had to re-align my rear tire afterwards so it wasn’t rubbing against the frame. Using a thin-tired hybrid bike on some of Oxford’s paths is a good way to force yourself to learn in-the-field bike maintenance. I now carry patches, pump, and spanners everywhere. My MEC sling-pack serves the purpose very well, when I don’t have books and things to carry about at the same time.

Going to Scotland

The first tutorial for the St. Hugh’s summer program has passed. While it wouldn’t be appropriate to discuss here, I can say that leading it was a learning experience for me, as well. Being on the other side of any such asymmetry is always uncanny.

In an exciting development, it seems that I am going hiking and camping in Scotland from the 27th to the 31st of this month, with the Oxford Walking Club. We are going to the western Highlands, to Faichem Park near Invergarry. We will spend three days walking in the Loch Quoich and Blen Shiel area. Some of the mountains there are 1100m high, a bit more than Grouse Mountain and Mount Fromme, back in North Vancouver. I am meeting the trip leader to deliver payment and a participant form in less than an hour.

Ever since watching the documentary where former Pythons revisit the places where Holy Grail was filmed, I have really wanted to go to Scotland. I promise to do my utmost to bring back some interesting photos: both using my increasingly ailing digicam and using the Fuji Velvia that Tristan so generously sent me.

[Update] Moments after paying the £80 for the trip, a serious difficulty arose. The club absolutely requires proper hiking boots for this trip. That’s fair enough, but mine are in Vancouver. The options, therefore, are:

Have my boots shipped from Canada
Buy boots here
Cancel the trip

Boots here, like everything else, are markedly more expensive than in Canada, and the ones I have in Vancouver are quite good. I do need to have them by the 26th of this month, but that leaves three entire weeks. Having them sent would mean digging them out from wherever in my big array of boxes of stuff left behind they are, plus paying postage. That said, I could use them for subsequent trips, it would almost certainly be cheaper than buying them here, and they are already broken in. Worth investigating.

[Update II] It seems extremely unlikely that my boots weigh more than 2kg – as much as a 2L bottle of soda. Estimating that they would fit in a 12″ by 10″ by 8″ box, they would cost $43.05 to send by Small Packet International Air. That’s about 20% of their original value, and probably about 1/4 of what inferior boots would cost in Oxford. They would cost $68.42 to send by Xpresspost International (with guaranteed four day delivery). Of course, the question of extracting them from whichever 55 gallon plastic box that has become their temporary abode remains.

[Update III: 5 July 2006] My mother has very kindly put my hiking boots into the post. As such, nothing remains between me and the realization of this trip. They should also prove useful when the Summer 2007 Kilimanjaro plan starts really coming together.

More good news: bikes and academics

First off, I want to tip my hat to Beeline Cyles on the Cowley Road. I took in my bike for the free three-month maintenance and not only did they calibrate my gears, tighten my brakes, and fix the wobble on the replacement saddle I got off a derelict bike after mine was stolen, they also replaced one of my peddles, my chain, and the front gear system. It no longer grinds and screeches when climbing hills. Indeed, it feels like riding a brand new bike, and they covered it all under the one-year warranty. You rarely see such a level of customer service these days, and I appreciate it. If only they could come up with a device that eliminates the overwhelming yet fatal attraction that insects seem to feel for my eyes while I am riding quickly in traffic, or along the edge of a canal. (That’s fatal for them, not me so far.)

Secondly, I got my supervisor’s report for Trinity term in the post:

Milan has continued to make very good progress. He achieved a strong pass in the QT exam and has identified a very interesting topic for his MPhil thesis – the role of science in global environmental policy. His Research Design Essay represented an excellent start in developing the project and narrowing down a viable set of questions to be addressed. His work for the core seminar has also been very solid, with essays on unipolarity, the end of the Cold War, decolonization, and the Middle East.

On top of all else, Kelly is making me dinner tonight, in reciprocity for me cooking for her yesterday. Also, the Canada Day party is this Saturday. I discovered that the Grog Shop in Jericho even sells one kind of Canadian beer – Moosehead – so that vital national totem will not be entirely excluded from the gathering.

PS. Young’s Champion Live Golden Beer is the best summer brew I have encountered in the UK. It is well-suited to the character of summer evenings here, while still having a taste several cuts above the norm in complexity and pleasantness. At present, it is giving Wychwood’s Hobgoblin a run for the best beer I’ve discovered since arriving here. It is certainly a better match to long days and warm nights.

It is interesting to note that both beers use Styrian Goldings hops.

Third, and steadier, academic job

Dr. Hurrell had good things to say about my decolonization paper, and has stressed that there is no urgency for completing my final paper of the year. Even better, he says that he will have at least six hours a week of research work for me, from July to September. Half of it will be formatting a bibliography for a book he is writing; the other half, identifying sources about Brazilian and Indian climate change policy. That and a few other bits of work should leave me with enough to pay rent and food, while also giving me a good amount of time to devote to thesis research.

After the seminar tonight, I met for a while with Bilyana and Kelly, before making dinner for the latter and capitalizing on Kai’s excellent stock of Simpsons DVDs. Tomorrow, I need to pick up my tuned-up bike, start the research for Dr. Hurrell, and pick up the faux Oxford business cards I am having printed on Holywell Street using a modified version of the far more expensive official template that Claire sent me. All told, a good series of new developments.

Two academic jobs

In the last week or so, I have found two short-term but remunerative pieces of academic work. Firstly, I will be giving a lecture on July 10th to a group of American undergraduates on Canada/US security and defence cooperation since September 11th. The lecture is part of a program being run by Regent University, in association with Hertford College, in which American undergrads are coming to Oxford to learn about strategic studies. Since the topic I have been assigned is almost exactly what the NASCA report was about, and I did a considerable amount of background research before we went to Colorado Springs, that should just be a matter of bringing things back together in a way that will fit into an hour and be accessible to people unfamiliar with the topic. My provisional outline will be to cover:

Afghanistan and Operation Enduring Freedom
The creation of USNORTHCOM and the Bi-National Planning Group
Canada’s decision regarding Iraq
NORAD and missile defence
And border security, including the Smart Border Declaration

Obviously, it cannot be covered comprehensively in an hour. Given that they probably won’t be at all familiar with Canada’s security role after September 11th, it is probably fine to just cover the basics well and then answer any specific questions afterwards.

The other teaching job is to read three papers and conduct three tutorials on the Camp David Accords. These will be with an American high school student who will be in Oxford for a few weeks as part of a program being run by St. Hugh’s. I should get the first paper by next Sunday, then discuss it on the Monday or Tuesday of that week. For the next two weeks, I am to suggest additional paper topics to be completed and discussed according to the same pattern.

To be honest, I am a bit nervous about both jobs. I’ve never actually done academic work that involves working with students in an official capacity. I have no concerns about the material for the first topic. The second, I have less expertise in. That said, the person with whom I will be working on it is in high school. By fortuitous chance, I am also writing a paper on the Arab-Israeli conflict for Dr. Hurrell. I think that if I pay special attention to material on Camp David, as well as reading a few journal articles specifically on the topic, I should be fine. Sarah P’s encouragement has also been helpful.

Actually doing work in areas that I’ve been studying for such a long time is definitely exciting, as well as slightly concerning, due to my unfamiliarity. The fact that each job pays more than anything else I have ever done is also a considerable inducement. The lecture pays as much as a day and a half at Staples, for an hour’s lecturing plus preparation time. The tutorial job pays as much as nearly five days’ work at my last summer job: enough to cover two weeks of my rent here. In addition to that, there is considerable satisfaction to be derived from doing ‘real’ work, rather than filler work intended to pay the bills.

Marston loop

Today, I came up with a nice ten mile ride primarily through eastern Oxford. Starting at the intersection of Banbury Road and Martson Ferry Road, you ride through a stretch of countryside to Old Marston. Then, carry on straight up the very obvious hill to where the John Radcliffe Hospital (not to be confused with the infirmary in Jericho) is located. Carry on straight from there until you see a turn-off to the right called Parklands Road. Past the end of that road, a path emerges. Following it provides a nice woodland downward track that varies from blacktop to dirt to really broken cement. This descent is the best part of the ride – at least, if you’re already well acquainted with the canal. At the bottom of that descent, you will find yourself outside the steel fence and razorwire-enclosed mosque that Roz and I found ourselves outside at the end of our trek through the fields east of the University Parks on Monday.

From there, take Marston Road (not to be confused with Marston Ferry Road) until you arrive at the corner of Oxford’s South Park. It has always been something of a landmark for me, as it is the first place in Oxford I ever visited, when I attended a Radiohead concert there in the summer of 2001. For good measure, I cycled once around it. On the western side, there is a nice leafy suburban area that winds up a hill and reminds me of Venebles Street, in Vancouver.

Once you’ve gone around the park (this may be a bit more than ten miles, really), head up Saint Clements Street to the Cowley Road roundabout and then across the Magdalen Bridge. Then, head up the high street as far as the County Library, turn right onto Magdalen Street, then left onto George Street. Carry on to the entrance to the path up the Oxford Canal that begins on Park End Street and then follow that path up the canal until you reach the bridge back to Jericho at Walton Well Road. Then, just head up Saint Bernard’s Road to Woodstock, and take Bevington Road back to the Banbury Road.

All told, the ride has a couple of nice hills, as well as a lot of attractive leafy bits. You’re also never terribly far out of Oxford, so the kind of bike troubles I had out near Yarnton are less of a concern – though I always carry spanners, patches, and a pump now. I am taking my bike for the free three-month tune-up from Beeline Cycles tomorrow. The pedals and handlebars haven’t come loose since they were tightened at the one month tune-up. The only concerning thing is how the pedals tend to creak and flex noticeably when striving to push uphill.

Oxford internal mail

Within a university that often seems like a bewildering assortment of disconnected parts, those elements that work really well are especially appreciated. Perhaps most notable among these is the inter-college mail. You can put a paper into an envelope, drop it at the porter’s lodge, and have it delivered unto your supervisor within about a day’s time. The system is efficient, free, and practically invisible.

Finding anything out about the system is reasonably difficult. They are not included in Wikipedia’s list of Oxford institutions and Google yields no information either. The vast Oxford website also seems to be silent on the matter. They seem to have no web presence whatsoever, and manifest themselves to most people only in the form of envelopes showing up in pigeon holes or being handed to college porters. Doubtless, one of Bodley’s books contains information on them, but I can’t conceive of how to begin finding it, short of trawling through general books about the university.

The system must be a reasonably complex one: dealing with thousands of items per day, at least, moving between 39 different colleges and a large number of other university offices and buildings. I am glad that it works, though I am curious to know how.

Living alone, thinking about trips

I finally feel as though I am getting a bit of traction on various projects. I’ve finished one of the three papers that have been hanging over me. By the time I meet Andrew Hurrell on Monday afternoon, I am resolved to have the paper on the Arab-Israeli conflict done, also. Thankfully, it is fairly similar to a paper I wrote in Michaelmas term about the interwar period in the Middle East and the causes of subsequent instability. In addition to academic work, I have printed some resumes and begun dropping them off at another batch of places. While I rather like the idea of a book shop, the tempting agencies that have been suggested to me by many people are becoming a possibility that I am distinctly considering. That, plus a few smatterings of academic work, might be able to constitute a reasonable employment path for the summer.

With regard to the planned European trips, it seems increasingly clear that finding other people who want to come along and are free to do so will be very hard. This I find particularly regrettable, as living in this empty house is providing a constant reminder of how much better I generally operate and enjoy myself when surrounded by friends. Regardless of that, I should probably go ahead and book at least one trip while the ticket prices are not as high as they will surely become. I need to find out whether my cousin Jiri in Prague is going to be around there this summer. If I can stay for free with him, I could fairly easily justify spending a couple of weeks there. While it wouldn’t be somewhere new to me – like Dublin or Istanbul would be – it would nonetheless be somewhere that I know to be interesting and enjoyable.

My parents are keen on me visiting Vancouver at some point towards the end of the summer. Naturally, I would be very keen to do so; spending two entire years without seeing my brothers or my friends in Vancouver is not something that I ever wanted to do. At the same time, I am anxious about spending so much on airfare prior to a year for which I have managed to secure no funding. The weight of all those failed scholarship applications is something I feel quite acutely at the moment.

PS. Does anybody know about interesting groups in Oxford that meet regularly over the weekend? With classes over, roommates gone, and friends departing, I am feeling a lack of scheduled activities where it is possible to meet people. Book clubs, photographic societies, walking or hiking clubs, and the like are all appealing possibilities.