I am increasingly feeling trepidation about my thesis. There are essentially two reasons for this.
1. Uncertain focus
‘Science in global environmental policymaking’ is the work of many lifetimes. ‘The role of science in Kyoto and Stockholm, specifically’ isn’t an enormously interesting topic. It is the theoretical extensions that arise from the examples that are of interest.
My hope has been that the thesis area would be like an archeological site. I would stand there, amidst squared off sections, and spot something brilliant and surprising and unexamined. Right now, it feels more like being inside a tram car that is passing through a huge terrarium, full of interesting looking animals. The only problem is, I only have until the tram reaches the other side (April) to look at anything, and the tram itself is full of interesting things aside from the view out the windows. To call them ‘distractions’ is to insult the broader Oxford experience, but they do threaten my ability to say something cogent and important about the terrarium to the stern individuals with clipboards waiting in the room beyond it.
2. Ignorance of related disciplines
At least once a day, I speak to someone who agrees that my topic is a good one, and has something that I simply must read about it. In all probability, this is an indication that the topic is too broad (it obviously is, right now). It is also an indication that it touches upon an unusual number of disciplines: from psychology to sociology, politics, political theory, ecology, philosophy, ethics, economics, and history.
I am afraid that, even if I do grapple properly with a few of the big chunks of work on this that exist out there, there will be other big chunks that are entirely excluded from my consideration and understanding.
The solution
As is so often the case, the solution is trepidation-powered reading. I need to be somewhat ruthless in pushing myself to read enough that I will be able to say something new, while not embarrassing myself.
The possibility that this will be my only major piece of academic research is not one to be entirely discounted. A doctorate is no certainty. Of course, the thought that this may be the only attempt, as well as an important attempt, adds considerably to my anxiety.