Category: Daily updates

Generally musings of the day, usually accompanied by a photograph

solo

Having just helped my second flatmate move out, I am living alone for the first time in many years.

Before the sequence of flatmates here in the Annex, I lived at Massey College or with family in Toronto, or for a while in an apartment above a streetcar stop at College and Dovercourt with what would be the first of many flatmates who were also graduate students at U of T.

I had two places on my own in Ottawa while working as a civil servant: one on Booth Street within sight of the Environment Canada headquarters tower which I learned of based on a “to rent” sign in the window and where I signed a lease within minutes of seeing the place, having been pipped on a couple of other OK places by being the second or third to see it in the last few days or weeks. The other was the eco- co-op Beaver Barracks, which appealed to me largely based on their geoexchange heating and cooling system, which seemed a particularly sensible choice to me based on Ottawa’s severe climate in summer and winter.

Barring some time in Vancouver, I pretty much went straight from Oxford to Ottawa at the end of my M.Phil in 2007. In Oxford, my second year had been spent living with two fellow M.Phil in IR students who were encouraging and lively companions and who remain friends today, though infrequently-seen ones. Before that, I lived among probably a couple of hundred at Wadham College, where my graduate student room had a glass wall which faced inward into a two-story courtyard with everybody else’s small rooms facing in, the glass notably acoustically permissive.

Before that, it was alternating between my parents’ home in North Vancouver and two UBC residences: mostly Totem Park in my first and second year, and Fairview later. Fairview Crescent was a great concept for a residence, with multi-person units arranged along a pedestrian-only central street with a café. Late in my time as an undergraduate, I remember we would hold debate society executive meetings there, having grown up a bit out of beer and nachos at one of the places in the student union building.

It need not be a bad thing to be alone. I am grateful for the many forms of electronic communication I undertake with friends and family around the world, and it makes an enormous difference compared to being cut off from communication as well as direct personal contact.

I am giving every part of the place a deep and thorough cleaning. If nobody else is around and the place is dirty, there’s nobody else left to blame!

Virtual memorial tomorrow

Elizabeth “Liz” Hope, who had been the Head Porter at Massey College since before I first visited the place, recently and unexpectedly died. As the chief authority in the lodge controlling entry into the college, her company was a day-to-day experience for all resident Junior Fellows and visitors. For me, she did a lot to establish and help me understand the character and workings of the college, and I am grateful for her evident care toward Junior Fellows and contribution to the unique college atmosphere.

Among her prominent roles was distributing information relevant to college members by email, which inspired a song by Junior Fellows.

In a closed shell

Since I am going to be home and avoiding people indefinitely regadless, I am cutting out distractions to focus as completely as possible on getting thesis work done.

In some ways, I am happier not going outside

Perhaps surprisingly, I haven’t really been feeling too confined my by self-isolation so far. I think a big part of that has been losing the two overwhelming sources of stress on my walks: unstable men who seem to be in the midst of a psychological crisis and/or under the influence of a powerful stimulant, who I encounter on the sidewalks during many walks, and people with off-leash dogs that come running at me, giving me two big scares in succession from the dog itself and then from the nearly-always entitled and irate owner who wants to pick a fight about how friendly their dog is and how legitimate it is for them to have it off-leash on a sidewalk, trail, or park.

Even before the potential COVID exposure I had been refocusing my walks on the U of T campus, where I don’t think I have ever encountered one of those scary men or an off-leash dog of such a size as to pose a threat. On streets like Bloor and College, as well as the trails I have been exploring, almost every walk involves me changing course to take a wide circle around someone who seems unstable and dangerous or to avoid having to deal with double aggressions from dogs and their owners.

Recent incidents of dog owners getting aggressive with me when I have explained that strange dogs often come running at me when unleashed have even made me question whether I want to stay in Toronto. They seem to embody how affluence and entitlement have superseded empathy and courtesy in much of the population. Rather than maintaining a determination to live together in a way that respects the safety of all, many of my co-residents seem to be mega-libertarians whose ideology is that they can do whatever they want and everyone else can go hang.

On day six of post-exposure isolation, the avoided stress from these encounters seems to be more than counterbalancing the cessation of all exercise and limited access to food.

Day 5

This is day 5 since my possible COVID exposure, and I can’t think when I last went so long without going outside (essentially, going without leaving my room).

I have actually been fairly productive so far in terms of dissertation tasks, and it is making my effort to avoid junk food for two months effortless for the moment, due to lack of opportunity.

Now in hard isolation

On Wednesday, a team from Chateau Windows came into my apartment for an unrequested replacement of our windows which our landlord wanted. Today, we were told that “one of their installation workers has been in contact with a person who tested positive for COVID”. Shockingly, our landlord said they would come back on Monday if they test negative, which is contrary to the requirement to self-isolate for two weeks as set out by the municipal, provincial, and federal governments.

I will be following the Government of Canada requirements for two weeks:

Quarantine (self-isolate) means that, for 14 days you need to:

  • stay at home and monitor yourself for symptoms, even just one mild symptom
  • avoid contact with other people to help prevent transmission of the virus prior to developing symptoms or at the earliest stage of illness
  • do your part to prevent the spread of disease by practicing physical distancing in your home
  • monitor yourself for symptoms, such as new or worsening cough, shortness of breath or difficulty breathing, temperature equal to or over 38°C, feeling feverish, chills, fatigue or weakness, muscle or body aches, new loss of smell or taste, headache, gastrointestinal symptoms (abdominal pain, diarrhea, vomiting) and feeling very unwell.
  • take and record your temperature daily (or as directed by your public health authority) and avoid using fever-reducing medications (e.g. acetaminophen, ibuprofen) as much as possible. These medications could mask an early symptom of COVID-19.

Not being able to go out for walks for two weeks is going to drive me nuts, now that it has been my only form of exercise for a year. I hope nobody else gets sick.

Constraining social media use

Alie Ward’s Ologies postcast about gratitude was a reminder of the benefits of in-person activities and the problems which arise from the incentives of social media firms. Like casinos that profit mostly from people mindlessly putting money into slot machines, platforms like Facebook and Twitter are just designed to keep people on and coming back, no matter whether they become misinformed through the process. In response, I changed my Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram passwords on December 14th and put them on a card at home to look up if I ever specifically decided to check these platforms. I’ve done so a couple of times since and had the strong impression that I haven’t missed anything.

One reason for using these platforms less is how ongoing social media monitoring is dragging out the completion of my dissertation, since there are always developments and new news on divestment. It’s better to get the thing published than to keep dragging it out with new information, so I am no longer actively monitoring social media.

Secondly, during the time surrounding America’s disastrous election (still a disaster, even though Trump lost) I realized that I don’t need endless amateur commentary on what is going on, and that getting it is needlessly emotionally provocative.

I took Twitter off my phone in 2017 but this is much more complete. In particular, it helps break a cycle of checking social media out of habit, seeing links to outside resources, and then getting caught up with reading them before returning to social media.

I am trying to read more books now, and to hike outside.

Last pre-inauguration days

The Guardian is reporting that the “boogaloo” uprising which was threatened for today produced a comically small turnout of a few nuts dressed as soldiers surrounded by far more media and police. I wish these conspiracy theories and fantasy ideologies could be banished to be political fringe as befits their non-existent popularity, but much of the respectable political spectrum has been dabbling in shades of the same for so long that it becomes impossible to discern where paranoia blends into delusion and one’s political theory. I remain fearful for what Trump’s final days in office may bring and the immediate aftermath of the inauguration, but hopeful that American values and institutions will prove enduring and that the world will be reassured that those who perceive and value the common interests of humanity are empowered again.

Pandemic wins

Doubtless for those of us who have been following the public health advice to avoid contact with others for nine months or so there have been many disappointments and frustrations. At the same time, perhaps we have each discovered a thing or two from pandemic living which we will stick with beyond. Some of mine:

1) Buff neck gaiters

A couple of months into the pandemic my Crow’s Nest barbershop hair cut had reached the point that whenever I moved my head it would be poking me in the eyes. Furthermore, with long hair any time I took a nap or wore a hat I would look unpresentable for any subsequent online meetings. I tried hair product, but it was a pain and easily mussed out of place. Bobby pins don’t grip my hair and just fall out within minutes.

Inspired by the ultra-light thru hiker and YouTuber Darwin, I ordered a Buff neck gaiter. It can be worn over the face as a mask in a pinch where you have nothing better, but mostly it’s an easy way to wrap up my hair in a way that keeps it out of my eyes and keeps me from having to have a shower to reset my hair before any time when someone will see me.

I have been wearing one almost continuously for months now: either their light weight synthetic option which I think feels nicer on the head and face or their light weight merino wool which I think feels a little rough and strange but which is definitely warmer.

During a recent 28 km walk at night I decided it was worth ordering a heavy weight merino wool Buff for January and February, but all the interesting patterns were sold out so I ordered a midweight merino and another synthetic as a backup or something to wear around my neck when the first one is on my head.

2) Taster’s Choice instant coffee

For the most part, my coffee regimen in the last few years has been dark Starbucks roasts made at home in a French press. Of course, that means buying bags of beans fairly often, dealing with coffee grounds (gross and annoying if you try to compost them), and cleaning the French press.

Recollecting that years and years ago I had found Taster’s Choice more palatable than other freeze-dried coffees, I bought some early in the pandemic. Now, I think it will be my permanent form of coffee. It’s glorious to go with no mess from a boiling kettle to a cup of coffee instantly, and I feel like in terms of taste and satisfaction it’s comparable to the elaborate bean sort.

3) Gaia GPS

The free version of this iOS app has done much to enhance my exercise walks in recent months. It allows you to easily record any track that you walk, laying down a collection of coloured lines over a street map of the city. This is helpful because it shows me instantly which directions and neighbourhoods I have already explored to excess and which are relatively fresh. In many areas, a glance lets me choose a route based on a set of streets which I haven’t walked down so far in the pandemic. In many cases it’s also helping me invent non-road routes between places I frequently visit, like using Bickford Park to walk north from College to Bloor rather than a street with traffic.

My favourite recent discovery is a fairly loop-shaped urban trail walk where you follow Nordheimer ravine northwest from Spadina, north of U of T campus, and then take the streets for the short connection to the start of the Beltline trail, which brings you back pretty close to where you start on the ravine trail.