Spring 2008 beard progression:
What might the future hold?
Author: Milan
In the spring of 2005, I graduated from the University of British Columbia with a degree in International Relations and a general focus in the area of environmental politics. In the fall of 2005, I began reading for an M.Phil in IR at Wadham College, Oxford.
Outside school, I am very interested in photography, writing, and the outdoors. I am writing this blog to keep in touch with friends and family around the world, provide a more personal view of graduate student life in Oxford, and pass on some lessons I've learned here.
View all posts by Milan
Glorious beard! The future doth hold something even more hirsute, methinks.
You can only wait with baited breath until the back hair, nose hair, ear hair and eyebrow hair decide to go wild on you one day many years from now! Hehe. Next move: longer head hair?
Kate,
Given summer temperatures here, head hair will be getting shorter, if anything.
Judging by the toque and backpack picture, I foresee closer scrutiny at airports in the future, especially if you’re traveling to the US. For greater effect, change your name to Ibrahim ibn-Mahmud al-Najafi.
Four months in now.
I have trimmed the beard twice, but not been clean-shaven since February.
Beard-second
The beard-second is a unit of length inspired by the light year, but used for extremely short distances such as those in nuclear physics. The beard-second is defined as the length an average physicist’s beard grows in a second. Kemp Bennet Kolb defines the distance as exactly 100 Ångströms, while the Physics Handbook has it half the size at 5 nanometers. Google Calculator supports the beard-second for unit conversions using the latter conversion factor.
“Adam, my co-author, has a full beard. It looks fantastic. It’s striking, it’s well-cared-for, and it makes him look both serious and gentle. If you are lucky enough to look great with a beard, then grow away. Keep it neat, but feel free to get all Paul Kinsey. You deserve it. (And don’t do the 5-o’clock-shadow thing. You’ll look like a douchey agent type.)
However, almost any other type of facial hair is profoundly dangerous. The ironic moustache is ascendant in my neck of the woods, and is horrible. It’s so popular that the sincere mustache, which we might otherwise get behind, is almost impossible to pull off. The goatee is so poisoned by 15 years of steroid-addled third basemen that my mind starts to overheat just trying to think about a context in which it will look anything but silly.
Look: here’s a test. If you ask ten people who you know, but aren’t deeply invested in you what they think of their facial hair, at least nine should say it looks “great” or “fantastic.” They should be certain that it’s better than none. NINE OUT OF TEN.”
Hair, beards and power
Taking it on the chin
In free societies and tyrannies alike, the hair on, and around, a man’s head always sends an ideological signal
Aug 5th 2010
SHAHRYAR, a fashion-conscious young socialite from Tehran, was immensely proud of his Jackson-5-style Afro. The baseej, Iran’s thuggish militia, were less impressed. They arrested him and dragged him away to a local clerical court, on the grounds that his sprouting hairdo was a dangerous Western import. Shahryar argued that since his style was really African, it posed no threat to revolutionary principles. The baseej disagreed: it was African-American so it could pollute Iranian society with the mores of the country’s greatest enemy.
The mullah in charge decided that although the fashion did indeed have American associations, it should be remembered that many black citizens of the United States had converted to Islam. In fact they represented the vanguard for jihad on the Western front—so in deference to them, Shahryar could hold onto his coif.
Long anxious to keep female hair under wraps, the rulers of the Islamic Republic have more recently become concerned about men’s hairdos. For years the streets of Tehran have been filled with young men making exuberant experiments with quiffs and stiffly gelled manes. But in an attempt to get these undisciplined tresses under control, the Iranian authorities last month released a list of approved haircuts for men: mostly neat variations on a short-back-and-sides. The Culture and Islamic Guidance ministry chose the “Veil and Chastity Day” festival to disclose this narrow range of options, explaining that they were intended to counter a “Western cultural invasion”. Whether anyone will want a government-sanctioned style is another matter.